ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
