You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just found puke in my bra..
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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