i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
