your parents love me but you hate me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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