One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
