i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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