i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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