Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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