Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
