: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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