Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
