why didn't you poke me back
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
