"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
