I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We are two peas in an std pod
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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