I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
