peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
