He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
