babies were throwing up all over the place
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
