im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
