he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
