so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
