i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
