Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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