go do what you do best...puke behind churches
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
