thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
