It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
