Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
