i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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