Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
