i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
