I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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