Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
His nipple licking is glorious
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