Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
