yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
