I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
