I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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