i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
