Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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