why didn't you poke me back
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
