it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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