he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
