Edward fifth and chaser hands
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
