you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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