I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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