we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
