there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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