if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
