Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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