Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
