carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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