i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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