Having a random hookup so left but love u
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
