OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
